On being lonely...

"We all carry our own deep wound, which is the wound of our loneliness" ~Jean Vanier~

That was a quote from my meditation for today. It talked about loneliness and how we all suffer needlessly from a feeling of loneliness when we know darn well all we have to do is pick up a phone and call someone.
Over the past month I have been feeling a lot less alone than I have in my whole life. I have met people who support me and who care about me just because I am ME. It's a great feeling. All my life I've had feelings of being alone. Now, because I'm being open and honest with myself and with the people around me, who are in turn telling me their stories, I realize that I am not alone. There is not one thing that has happened to me, not one thing I've done or one thought I've had that someone else (someone closer than I thought usually) hasn't had.
I think as humans we like to wallow in the drama of loneliness. It's like a comfort blanket, thinking, "Poor me, I am so alone in this life. Nobody understands what I'm going through. I am the only one in the world who has to do this or put up with this," just because we are too stubborn to open up to the people around us and admit we need help. This applies to anything, not just to addiction. Problems in a relationship, problems with the job, problems with friends, problems with ourselves... Whenever we think we're alone in something, I think, it's because we haven't been open enough with the people around us to realize that they've experienced the same thing. I could go on and on about this, but I'm trying to be more concise and less rambling in my blogs lately, so I've edited out a couple paragraphs going off on this subject. Suffice it to say, that I am developing a new outlook on Life concerning loneliness.

On the lighter side...
Today I finished putting up my Christmas tree. It's cool pulling out the boxes of Christmas decorations that I've accrued over the years. Lots of my ornaments came from friends and family, so they have sentimental value, however eclectic the conglomeration is. Anywho, this year I put a "Tigger" Christmas hat at the top of the tree, have multi colored lights, all the ornaments, candy canes and dressed it all up with a white/opalescent garland I picked up today. When the lights are on in the room, it's kinda pretty having the shimmering white garland, but I had to laugh when I rushed out the door to a meeting tonight. I left the tree lit, went outside and looked up at my window to see my tree. Funny thing about the opalescent coloring... When light of any color shines through it, the garland turns this amazing shade of... PINK. It's all you can see from outside, a brightly lit PINK tree. I feel like I should have decorated it with bribes. LOL. Anywho, I like it! It's fun and frisky. It fits.

Today was day 35 and I'm doing well. On being lonely... I have some friends I'm going to call tomorrow. =c)