Honestly, I'm in a good mood...
(Instructions: read this at Warp-9 and it might make sense. Any slower and I think you might think I've been thinking too much about this. Ya think??)
Do you ever get that feeling that you've said a lot more than you should have, but didn't nearly say enough? That you put aside all 'masks' to show someone the 'real you,' opened your heart and shared... and forgot how to put it all together afterwards so you're stuck walking around like a dork with your heart in one hand and some stupid 'mask' in the other? 'Course you still gotta smoke with your hands full.
Anywho. Vague preface to all that in as few words as possible...
Needed to talk to someone I hadn't talked to in a while. Needed to ask a question. Needed to do a fill-in on life. needed to apologize. Was scared. Called people for advise: "Ask the question, but be sure you're ready for the response whatever it may be" Thought I was. Response no where near what I anticipated. Ugg.
Basically, I said way too much in very few words, but still managed to trip over them as usual. Got a good response to half the question, no response to the other half and a laugh (however good-natured it was meant to be) at my apology. Now I'm not sure what to think. I know I should "Let go and Let God..." but just keep wanting to 'let loose and let god do it my way.'
Laugh at that, even if you don't see the humor.
I am. =c)
K. Now that's out of the way...
I really am in a good mood today. I think. Either that or I'm going Psychotic and should put a str8 jacket on my christmas list (Although, if I did, I'd probably just get an ordinary jacket from Wally-World. Anything you get there is str8.) Ooh! Example of how I feel... When I was a kid, there was a board game with a litte plastic dome in the center with a couple dice in it. Press the top of the dome and the dice get tossed (kept the dice from getting lost or mistaken for candy by the kids) THAT's what today was like. It's a lot of fun, but sure did get tossed around a lot. Some unexpected combinations came up and I had to just play the game.
Monday was different. Monday was just a dark day. I wanted to be drunk. I didn't want to drink, I just wanted to be drunk. So, I went to a meeting and then called some people. Stayed sober.
Yesterday was Awesome. I had a good day, lots of laughs, couple cries, walked to and from a meeting in the coldest weather yet this winter and had a blast. I went to bed at a decent time and woke up before my alarm today.
Today was just odd. Way too much going on to make sense of it now.
Bad day, Great day, Crazy day... Days 36, 37 and 38. I wonder what tomorrow will bring. I'm looking forward to finding out.
Do you ever get that feeling that you've said a lot more than you should have, but didn't nearly say enough? That you put aside all 'masks' to show someone the 'real you,' opened your heart and shared... and forgot how to put it all together afterwards so you're stuck walking around like a dork with your heart in one hand and some stupid 'mask' in the other? 'Course you still gotta smoke with your hands full.
Anywho. Vague preface to all that in as few words as possible...
Needed to talk to someone I hadn't talked to in a while. Needed to ask a question. Needed to do a fill-in on life. needed to apologize. Was scared. Called people for advise: "Ask the question, but be sure you're ready for the response whatever it may be" Thought I was. Response no where near what I anticipated. Ugg.
Basically, I said way too much in very few words, but still managed to trip over them as usual. Got a good response to half the question, no response to the other half and a laugh (however good-natured it was meant to be) at my apology. Now I'm not sure what to think. I know I should "Let go and Let God..." but just keep wanting to 'let loose and let god do it my way.'
Laugh at that, even if you don't see the humor.
I am. =c)
K. Now that's out of the way...
I really am in a good mood today. I think. Either that or I'm going Psychotic and should put a str8 jacket on my christmas list (Although, if I did, I'd probably just get an ordinary jacket from Wally-World. Anything you get there is str8.) Ooh! Example of how I feel... When I was a kid, there was a board game with a litte plastic dome in the center with a couple dice in it. Press the top of the dome and the dice get tossed (kept the dice from getting lost or mistaken for candy by the kids) THAT's what today was like. It's a lot of fun, but sure did get tossed around a lot. Some unexpected combinations came up and I had to just play the game.
Monday was different. Monday was just a dark day. I wanted to be drunk. I didn't want to drink, I just wanted to be drunk. So, I went to a meeting and then called some people. Stayed sober.
Yesterday was Awesome. I had a good day, lots of laughs, couple cries, walked to and from a meeting in the coldest weather yet this winter and had a blast. I went to bed at a decent time and woke up before my alarm today.
Today was just odd. Way too much going on to make sense of it now.
Bad day, Great day, Crazy day... Days 36, 37 and 38. I wonder what tomorrow will bring. I'm looking forward to finding out.
posted by JD_612 at 9:25 PM
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