I hope you're sitting down...

You better be sitting down before you proceed, don't want anyone passing out from shock, but I'm actually blogging because I'm doing pretty darn good today! =c)

Today was a good day, the sun was out a bit, it's getting warmer, grass, crocuses, daffodils, willow trees, shrubbery and everything getting greener. It's cool. I love spring, everything coming to life and this year I really feel a connection with spring. I'm waking up and the fog is starting to lift and I'm seeing life a lot clearer now. I'm actually enjoying life. Sure, I get frustrated at people and things because it's one of my character defects to be selfish and want things my way right away and when I don't get my way, I get resentful. Now that I recognize the pattern, it's getting easier (not easy, but easier) to stop the resentments and/or just deal with them as the come up.

I told my story at a meeting on Thursday night. I was really freaking nervous, but really wanted to let people know a little of my background. I was actually supposed to tell my story a week before, but at the last minute that was canceled, which was a good thing. I had written out my story and was all prepared with note cards and an outline and stuff for the first week, and I'm SO glad I didn't have any of that when I actually told my story. All I took up with me was a watch that a friend loaned me to keep track of the time and one note card. On one side of the note card I had written the third step Prayer, "God, I offer myself to Thee--to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!" and on the other side I had 4 lines.

1: Tell what it was like
2: Tell what happened
3: Tell what it's like now
4: BE HONEST!

I am really grateful that I had the opportunity to share my story. It's a kinda freeing feeling. I told some stuff that I have previously only told a couple people. I also got the chance to share about one of my friends I called "Mr Smiley" who played a part in my "What happened" portion and he was there to hear about it. I don't know if he knows I was talking about him or not and I'm not going to tell who it was, but it's a reminder that even a simple smile can stick in someone's head and help them to change. I'll tell ya about it some other time maybe.

I've been hanging out with more people lately and getting to know them a lot better. It's really cool. I'm recognizing that there are a LOT more people supporting me than I realized and that there's a LOT more people I want to support just like they're supporting me. It's a very good feeling.

I'm not on a pink cloud or anything, Life is still not a bed of roses, but it's not always bad. In church today the minister was drawing a comparison between a piano keyboard and life. She was talking about how any good musician knows that you can only be in the middle range for so long before it's all played out and gets boring. To make really good music you need to stretch to the low notes and the high notes, just like in life. You can only go through the middle range of emotions so long before you get bored with it. When you start experiencing the Lows and Highs in life, then life gets a lot more interesting.

Mood: Optimistic. I can handle whatever is around the bend because I don't have to handle it alone.

On my mind: My meditation book today posed a question and suggested acting on it:

If you knew you were going to die soon and only had one call you could make, who would you call and what would you say to them? And why are you waiting?

Think about it.

Peace Out!
JD