holiday ranting...

I really don't like the holidays any more. Just one more freakin day to sit at home thinking about things until it's time to go somewhereelse. For the first time in a LONG time I'm homesick. Not for the place my parents and family are, but the home I remember. It's just not there anymore. Even if I could get to my parent's house it would be a very uncomfortable day of gay jokes and religion for the most part. That's my family now. I don't fit. The place I'm at now is feeling less and less like a home and more like a concentration camp. Work, meetings, cleaning, meditation. That's about it right now. I need fun. I need a change. Nashville sounds pretty appealing at the moment.
I'm tired of people. I really would love to just sit at home for a while and not have to deal. I'm tired of the guys who only chat when they think of me as a piece of meat. I'm tired of the people who make plans around me and don't invite me. I'm tired of the people who don't have time to get to know me. I'm tired of people not letting me finish a story or even a thought before they break in with a tangent. I'm tired of people freakin being so serious around me all the time. I LOVE TO LAUGH!! I like to joke around with people, but everyone gets serious when I'm around. I want to hug, laugh, tease, shoot the breeze, go shopping, go to a movie... People just don't seem to have the time, so I do it alone. I'm tired of having people at a distance, I'm ready to take chances even if I might get hurt.
I know this will all pass, but for now it sucks.
So, happy holidays to everyone.
JD