Confession time...

I just had a minor setback. I'm feeling a lot of stress, I just spent the last two hours planning what I am going to say to my Human Resources department tomorrow and am at the point of admitting "I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I NEED TO SAY." I was really frustrated, went for a walk, passed a gas-station, turned around, went inside to buy cigarettes, decided I REALLY didn't need to get any and walked out. I went a couple blocks to the next gas-station and went in and actually bought some cigarettes. I lit one and started retching from the taste, put it out, put the cigarettes in my pocket. Thankfully I walked another half block and a lady asked if I had a spare cigarette so I gave her the rest of the pack.

I'm mad at myself. I really didn't need to do that. I had my phone in my pocket and thought a couple of times that I should call someone, but my mind was telling me, "Nah, they're asleep by now, don't bother them. It's not such a big thing, you can have one, stick the pack in the top of the cupboard in case you need another next week or tomorrow or in a couple hours..." Rationalizing. It sucks. Oh well. I'm back at day zero for smoking, not a big deal. I just need to learn from this and move on.

So yeah, I'm kinda stressed. Whomever reads this, if you've got a Higher Power, whatever/whomever that may be, can you do me a favor and say a quick prayer on my behalf? I need it.

Thanks.
JD.