An Invitation to My World....

This is something I wrote a few years ago, sometimes it fits, sometimes it doesn't. Make of it what you will....

An Invitation to my World

I saw you on the street today,
you asked how I was doing.
I said, "Fine."

Of course I said, "Fine!"
What? Did you really want me to tell you how I felt?
Did you really want to know?

No, of course you didn't.
You were just making...
conversation.

Did you think I would tell you...
could ever tell you...

Tell you about My World?

I want to tell you.
I want to tell someone!
To let someone see...

I need to.

But I can't.

I want to let you see my world,
but there is not much to see there.

There are too many walls.

Walls... enclosing things I want to forget,
enclosing things I don't even know are there.

I built these walls a long time ago,
Long before I met you.

Walls around the pain;
around the heartache;
around what it means to be...
Human.

I built the walls to last,
I didn't want to ever be bothered again
by what I put behind these walls.

But now, here,
with you beside me...
I want to see beyond the walls
In My World.

I want to feel the breezes of Love and Passion;
I want to see a fire of Hatred;
I want to see a sunshine of Happiness reflected in a lake of tears...

But I can't.

There are too many walls here for me to know
what it is to truly be...
Alive.

Sometimes, I find a way to climb on top of a wall,
where I can see the sunshine dancing on the lake,
and feel the gentle breezes warmed by a fire...

But then I see what's behind the walls...
and I become afraid,
so I climb back down.

I know, if you help me,
together we can begin tearing donw the walls...

Brick-by-brick-by...brick.

It will take a long time;
but I know with your help, acceptance and understanding
I can tear down the walls and let you in.

To see My World...

But...
Then again...
You really don't want to see.

* * *

I saw you on the street today,
you asked how I was doing.
I know I lied when I said, "Fine."

But, since you were only making...
conversation,
You will never know.






~JD~